Tuesday, March 16

Everyone needs a day off now and again and I sure took one of those today.

Today I spent a couple of hours with X, a former fuck buddy of mine who possesses the very rare quality of being able to turn me into a quivering, shaking absolutely turned on mess. I haven't spent time with him for a couple of months, primarily due to the fact I can only handle his arrogant personality for small stretches. I'd decided I wasn't going to see him anymore even though the sex is absolutely thrilling for me and he's capable of turning me on like only a few men ever have. He's been very persistant in trying to get me to come over again though and I've been equally resistant, but then today I decided I'd cave in to his demands because it's been a long time since my submissive side has been sated. When I'm with a client, they have been either always very gentle (or at the most athletic) lays and all have given me the impression that I'm in charge.

As it always had been, the sex was deliciously hot and nasty. Lots of hair pulling, ass slapping, dirty talk, biting, and extremely skillful fucking. One of the things about fucking X that had both excited the hell out of me and deterred me at the same time is his propensity to leave me covered in sex marks---bruises on my tits and arms and neck and thighs from his mouth and his fingers were a given. I used to love it when it was happening but also when I'd move a certain way afterwards and feel a tiny tinge of pain. It was a sexy reminder of what we'd do. But at the same time, I can't exactly be conducting 'business' looking like an abuse victim, and my bf would not have been appreciative of the marks, either. (He can't deal with the idea of anyone hurting me, even if I do actually like it.) So being marked up would create problems because I'd have to go out of my way to not be naked in front of anyone until the marks went away.

X was actually careful to not mark me today, though. I'm not sure why. I didn't ask him not to or anything. I think perhaps he thought that my usual damaged condition after seeing him was one of the reasons I haven't seen him in months. Or maybe not. Anyway, a funny thing happened today. As he was fucking me, I noticed that right where my fingertips were clutching his biceps, there were the remains of some bruises. I breathlessly pointed them out, "Oh...what are these, hmm?" and he just smirked and continued pounding away at me while looking me intently in the eye. I informed him that thus far he hadn't seen my sadistic side, and then proceeded to dig my nails directly into his fading bruises. After a minute he groaned about it hurting, and I smirked right back at him and said, 'It sure does, doesn't it?"

I left X looking rather worse for the wear. Dark bruises on both his upper arms, and a couple on his shoulders. Ha. I told him after we were through that perhaps he'd quit pestering me to come over for a couple of weeks now. But somehow I don't think that little turn of the tables is going to work.

I'm happy to say that my endorphin high lasted throughout the entire drive homeand my late afternoon nap was fantastic. I guess there is some use in the world for cocky and arrogant bastards.