Thursday, April 22

Maybe I'll be long winded tonight because I finally got a new keyboard and won't get frustrated with a sticky shift key anymore. Typing on that old keyboard was an exercise in frustration, to say the least.

Several ladies have written asking how one goes about getting started doing this sort of thing. Anyway...I'm by no means an expert at this, and I certainly don't advise leaping into something like this lightly. I urge you to do your research. There's plenty of information online about sex work and I implore you to do a whole lot of reading before rushing out and setting up shop.

OK, so...

First off, think. How's your self-esteem? Are you assertive and confident? Patient? Do you genuinely like people? Can you talk to anyone? Are you well versed on safe sex practices? Do you have any guilt issues about casual sex? Are you happy being a 'giver' when it comes to sex? Are you good at saying no? Just some stuff to consider. :)

I have no idea how most independent escorts go about getting involved, I only know how my friend and I did it and it was as simple as writing an ad and posting it online. There are numerous web sites where you can place adult ads for free, and before I'd invest any money in advertising one's services, I'd go the free route just to make sure it's something you're actually comfortable doing. You have to be careful how you word your ad, because it's illegal to offer sex for money, so basically you have to imply that's what you're doing, vs. coming right out and saying it. Read a bunch of ads and see what others say and then craft yours to be a bit different. What makes you desirable? Why would a man want to spend his hard earned cash to spend time with you? Think about what makes you special and talk about it in your ad. Also, one thing you can do is do a search on escort web sites and see how they phrase what they're offering. You can also get an idea of what the going rates are for various services in your geographic area that way, too. When I posted my first ad, I was unprepared for the response. I had no idea I'd get so many replies. It became evident rather quickly that no matter what you write, a lot of the men responding to your ad have paid absolutely no attention whatsoever to anything you've said. For instance, you might say in your ad that you're only available during the day and you can't host (that means you're not going to be having them over at your place), and you'll get an inbox full of mail from guys saying, "I'm interested. Where are you located and can I come see you tonight?" It's plenty frustrating. You start to wonder if all men are idiots. However, just keep in mind the old 80/20 rule. Basically, 80% of all your responses will be crap, and 20% will be worth further investigation. Speaking of email, it's a good idea to set up an email account with yahoo or hotmail or one of the other free email services to separate your 'real' email address from your 'working girl' address. Obviously, it's safest not to put your last name on the account.

Be prepared to send a recent photo or two of yourself. Fuzz out your features if you want. I don't, but lots of escorts that advertise online do. I'm sure it's a less effective way to get clients if they can't see what they're getting, but obviously it must work to some degree if people are actually doing it. I have a standard reply that I send to the interesting responses I get (and frankly, like I said, only about 2 out of 10 are worth even sending your standard reply to). Basically I give a physical description, a general outline of my personality, my 'fee for companionship' and when I'm available. I ask for a photo if they haven't already sent me one, and ask when they think they might like to see me. I don't like going into too much detail about specific sexual stuff in these emails because one never knows if you're corresponding with a real prospective client or some kind of law enforcement official, so you have to be very careful. If you're getting a weird vibe from someone it's best to just move on. Better safe than sorry.

Sometimes you play email tag for weeks trying to set something up with someone, and sometimes you advertise in the morning and by noon time you've got your afternoon client scheduled. It can be hit or miss. You have to expect you're going to be blown off sometimes, and that's pretty sucky.

I'm not sure how other girls do it, and maybe I'm unusual, but I generally always make them meet me somewhere public first. A cup of coffee is a good idea, or a drink if it's in the evening. That way, if I get a bad vibe I can excuse myself. I didn't meet first in public once and what a disaster that turned out to be. I've certainly learned my lesson since then and I've become a lot more confident about saying the word "no." It's much easier once you've said no a bunch of times and found out people generally accept it without too much hassle. Also, tell someone where you are going to be and who you are going to be with. Tell your client you're going to do that and if he's not willing to tell you his real name and show you his ID, then you shouldn't be willing to go through with the rest. I've never had a single man refuse to give me this information when I've asked for it.

So that's pretty much it, in a nutshell. I'm sure I've probably forgotten something important, so feel free to comment with questions and I'll do my best to answer them.