Thursday, April 8

No appointment to report about today because I was blown off! Had an email waiting for me when I got home. "Sorry, got tied up at work and couldn't make it. Perhaps another time." Pffft. Not likely.

However, it's a gorgeous day and feels finally like Spring so I wasn't even all that upset that I was stood up. It's a perfect day for a ride, so it wasn't a complete waste of time. Instead I did some shopping, stopped into Starbucks for an iced coffee and to see my favorite Coffee Boy, and then came home and took my cat for a walk. (Ever see a cat on a leash? It's pretty amusing.)

Last week I posted about lovely meeting with reader of this blog. I told him he could write a "guest post" if he wished, and he did! He emailed it to me to post. Without further ado, here it is:

My afternoon with Laura:

As Laura's first blogfan to become a client, Laura asked me to write about my experience. Seeing as how she was so nice to me . . . well it seemed only fair to return the favor.

Laura was the first . . . 'pro' I've ever been with. I put 'pro' in quotes because she really doesn't come off as any kind of professional. Well, o.k., she could certainly be a professional in some other field. But escort? Certainly didn't seem that way. She was far too laid back and friendly to be compared to anyone I can imagine as really 'working' in the sex industry. If anything, it was like the best blind date I've ever had in my life.

We met for coffee at a Starbucks. We chatted about work, school (I'm in law school), family, and shared funny/irritating college stories. After awhile, maybe 45 minutes or so, she asked if I was ready to leave. I said yes, and she told me to follow her in my car. A few twists and turns later, we got to the hotel. I got out and booked a room while Laura waited in her car. After I had the key, we walked to the room together.

Even inside the hotel room (which was small, and consisted only of a bed, a TV, and a bathroom) things still didn't exactly move at the hurried porno-pace I had imagined. We chatted a bit more, sprawled on the bed, watched some TV, and another 20 minutes or so went by before Laura apparently decided to 'get comfortable.'

I remember thinking, as she started to remove her clothing, that this suddenly seemed very surreal. I mean, we weren't even talking about anything 'sexual'. I believe we were talking about her roommates when she slid off her pants, revealing an adorable pair of black panties. Her blouse came off a few moments later (I admit to being a little out of the conversation by that point) revealing her terrific breasts. Once mostly disrobed, and having noticed my jaw laying somewhere on the floor, she smirked and indicated that I might want to begin disrobing. I stripped down to boxers and a t-shirt, and we snuggled up together . . .

And well I guess I'm not sharing the saucy details. Sorry to disappoint. But I've tried three times to write a few paragraphs about what went where and when, but frankly, anything I've come up with doesn't come close to capturing the experience. Mostly I re-read those paragraphs and started laughing. Sex, as I've often tried to explain to people, is really one of God's great jokes on humanity, and viewed (or attempted to be viewed) without the veil of hormones and adrenaline . . . well it loses a lot of its flavor.

Still, it was fantastic, and Laura was ridiculously indulgent towards whatever desires I managed to mumble out between expressions of sincere admiration for her skills and enthusiasm. Once I was largely spent, we lay in bed for awhile chatting some more (she remained naked, a lovely visual treat) before she eventually had to leave. She got dressed at a leisurely pace, we settled accounts quite amiably, and after a warm kiss she left.

Probably the most difficult part of the experience was yet to come. I now had to leave the hotel, which meant checking out the same day I had checked in (in fact, just 3-4 hours after I had checked in). What if the Hotel Clerk asked why I was checking out the same day I had checked in? For some reason, the thought that he would know that I had just gotten some embarrassed the hell out of me, even if he couldn't have known that it was with 'a pro'. Yes, I know, I'm mental. Leave it be.

So I had to come up with some plausible excuse for my ridiculously short stay. I pondered complaining that the room was unacceptable, but figured that even if they believed me, they'd just give me a different room; from which I'd also have to check out of. After some pondering, I decided that if asked, I'd tell the Clerk that I was half-way through a very long drive, and that I had just stopped for a shower and a nap. This seemed reasonable to me, and I figured with my out-of-state plates (remember, I drove a distance to see Laura in the first place) it might work.

In one of those rare examples of life actually going exactly as planned, I got a Clerk working his first week at the hotel. Not only was he baffled by my 'one-day stay', he was also unable to check me out without consulting with two of his superiors first. Each of whom also asked me why I was checking out so soon. Immensely impressed with my own brilliance, I repeated my cover story with all the sincerity I could muster, and then tried not to dislocate my shoulder while patting myself on the back.

Either I'm a very good liar, or they are used to hearing such excuses (and not laughing at them) because all concerned seemed satisfied with my explanation. After a few tries, I was checked out, and on the road.

My one thought as I left was: What happens when I do this again if I get the same clerk?

Anyone think he'll buy the same excuse twice?