Monday, April 12

Perhaps my post yesterday about Easter dinner startled a few people. I received quite a few emails about it, in fact.

"When you were doing the whole Easter thing yesterday, did you feel anything (not guilt necessarily, but maybe a sense of mischieviousness) thinking about your secondary source of income?"

As difficult as it might be for some to believe, I didn't think at all about my secondary income yesterday during the Easter festivities with my boyfriend's family. I was thinking about making sure the dinner I was in charge of preparing was going to come out well, and focused on the people around me and what was going on then, not daydreaming about the ways in which I've been making an extra buck. In fact, that was probably the furthest thing from my mind.

Perhaps I haven't done such a great job presenting myself as a multifaceted individual. Mostly it has been on purpose in an effort to maintain my anonyminity. You see, I have a quite lot of friends and one of the things I admire about people is a curious nature, so those are the sort of friends I surround myself with. I can't picture too many of my friends NOT clicking on a link that says "My Secret Life as a Prostitute." I wouldn't be all that surprised if someone I know has read this blog and wondered if I am indeed someone that they know. I'd much prefer them wondering 'hmmm...maybe' over supplying details about me that would confirm anything. I'm not ready at this point to 'come out', so to speak, to my friends and relations as to how I've been spending some of my afternoons. I do not wish to be ostracized and stigmatized and generally disapproved of by everyone I know. Plus, since what I am doing is perfectly illegal, I wish to protect my identity so as to not get targeted for arrest.

Where am I going with this? I guess I'm just trying to point out that yes, I spend much more of my time doing mundane and routine things---just like you--than I do thinking about and having actual sex with strangers for money. Most of the time when I'm doing these mundane things--laundry, grocery shopping, dinner with a girlfriend, playing with my cat, watching television with my boyfriend--I'm there in the moment, thinking about what I'm doing. Experiencing that thing.

I'm tired now and I think I'm going to bed. I'll save for tomorrow my thoughts about a client I saw once a month ago who IMed me today and had all kinds of questions such as, "So, have you thought about my cock?" . *sigh*