Saturday, May 8

Isis commented on a previous post, speaking about escorts in my "demographic":

They also tend be around this business for a short period, until goals are met, the risk becomes too great, or something better comes along.

And then Ed commented:
Along that line, would you care to comment about what would be "better" that might lure you away from us all? I mean, if you didn't have your 'extra curricular' activities that become the source of subject matter for new posts, that would be potential loss for us all. But to a greater question, .. "what adventures would fulfill your need for sexual variety enough to draw you away from your present 'hobby'?" For example, it sounds like your 'intimacy' with 'Y' has the foundation of trust, communication, respect and affection that tends to lend itself to committed relationships. If 'Y' were to throw the "M" word at you (I mean offer it gently), would that sound too much like monotony or lack of variety? An 'Open' relationship seems like what you already have with the live-in-friend-boyfriend, so that would suggest maybe you would want to take that component along into "something better"? Given the declining longivity of marriage in the USA now, maybe you've already 'found something better' and the quote from "isis" is simply 'out of date' ?

Perhaps I'm wrong, but I didn't take isis's comment about "something better" coming along to mean a committed relationship. I think he meant something better in terms of employment, not marriage.

I'm not looking for a husband. I'm not biding my time, hoping that someone will come along and 'take me away from all this' and install me in a suburban house, and make babies with me. That's just not the game plan I have for my life. I don't want children, and I have no desire to ever be legally bound to someone 'til death do us part.' Some people tell me when I tell them this, that it's just because I haven't met the right person yet for that. I feel, quite strongly, that there is no 'right person' for that--for me. It's been suggested to me as well that the reason for my open relationship status with my boyfriend must be because he's not right for me, and if he was, then I wouldn't have the desire to have other relationships as well. Of course, I vehemently disagree. (My relationship with my boyfriend has been going on for longer than most American marriages generally last. By the way. So I don't have issues with sustaining long term relationships.) What's ironic to me is that usually the people that suggest I must not be happy are miserable themselves.

Perhaps for some, monogamy is natural and it's what they want for themselves. That's fine. But the concept just isn't natural or at all interesting to me and although maybe someday I'll change my mind, right now I honestly can't conceive of the idea that I'll ever feel differently about that, regardless of who I meet.

So, to sort of summarize here, I'm not looking for 'something better.' I'm just amusing myself, and trying my best to amuse those that enter my world, for however brief or long a time that may be. And when my current hobby no longer amuses me, I'm sure I'll find something else that does, since I always do.