A comment on my previous post has got my brain whirring in a million directions.
To summarize (since the comment was quite long), Mike says he's found out his girlfriend of 5 months had participated in some group sex before they were involved. He's never done anything of the sort because he "was under the opinion that it was more of a desirable quality in the eyes of a woman if the man they're interested in having a serious relationship with has always been faithful, loving, and not just about the sex." So now, according to him, while he feels they have a great relationship he has an issue because his girlfriend doesn't live up to his "standards" now that he's been made aware of her experimental past. He says, "I never took the chances I could have, thinking that a serious girlfriend would have held to some similar standards." And now he's trying to figure out how to get her to try a threesome with him, without directly asking for it.
If that all sounds confusing, just go and read the comments on my previous post.
First off, I find it amazing how some people feel that a person who's experimented with their sexuality is somehow less valuable than someone who hasn't. It's no wonder that lots of folks have such difficulty discussing their sexual pasts, having to worry they're going to be judged for actually having a sexual past.
Secondly, what is wrong with being 'just about the sex' sometimes? My opinion on that matter is that as long as both parties are fully aware that it's just about the sex, where is the issue? If there is no deception involved as to the motives of both parties, why is sharing physical pleasure a bad thing? Why should this preclude one from forming close intimate relationships with others at a later time, should they happen to find a person they wish to become more serious with?
And lastly, did I read Mike wrong, or is he intimating that now that he knows his girlfriend doesn't live up to his high standard of purity and therefore the relationship probably doesn't have a future (since he can't come to grips with her sexual past) it's ok to get dirty?
Boggles my mind, it does.
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