Sunday, July 18

A reader asked me how one goes about arranging a threesome. While I've participated in a number of threesomes, I'm sure I'm not qualified to write a definitive guide on the process. I can, however, offer some information about my own experiences in the threesome arena. First off, let me just say that I've never picked up a stranger to add as the third party. I know this is a fantasy for a lot of people, but since I don't have experience there, I can't really offer any insight into how exactly that's accomplished.

My very first threesome experience was in college. A couple of not-so-close friends apparently had a plan, and that was to get me fairly drunk and have their way with me. Since we didn't discuss the experience after it happened, I don't know how detailed their master plan was, but I do recall that at some point during the process I was made aware that it was something they did actually did plan in advance. They decided that taking me out and encouraging me to drink a lot was the way to get the job done. It worked, yes. Back at my place one of them started making out with me while the other was in the bathroom. When the absentee returned, he included himself in the mix. Next thing I know we're in my bed. But somewhere in the middle of things I sobered up and started feeling an awful lot like an object that these two were basically using to masturbate into. It became rather evident to me that my pleasure was not a concern of theirs, and when I realized that, I halted the experience. I wanted them to leave, but didn't know how to politely get them out of my bed, so we all ended up sleeping together and then not talking about what had happened in the morning. It was more than a little awkward and I don't recommend this method.

My next threesome also involved alcohol, but not in the same way at all. This time I'd had enough to drink to honestly answer a question about fantasies posed to me by a friend. I said I wanted to have a threesome with two men, and I wanted it to be all about me. At this point in time, I wasn't one to go blurting out my darkest desires to anyone, and I'm sure if I hadn't had quite so many gin and tonics that night, I never would have answered the question. If not for the booze, I would have turned beet red and mumbled something about being shy. But the honest answer to the question was all it took, for about two weeks later, I was lured to his apartment (under false pretenses) and had my world rocked by him and my other toe sucking friend (note previous post). What I came away with from this experience is that sometimes all it takes is opening your mouth and being frank about your desires, and there just might be someone (s) who shares the desire and is interested in making it happen.

And then, some years later, I met a group of open-minded people and became part of their social circle. Most of them had had sex with one another, in various combinations. These folks weren't at all shy about talking about what turned them on which is why I'm sure they were having so much sex. It was oddly fascinating and liberating getting to know these people, since they were quite different than any other circle of friends I'd ever known. Everyone knew everyone else's business. I found this somewhat disconcerting in the back of my mind. One had to weigh whether the pro of getting to have all kinds of interesting sex was worth the con of knowing it was going to become public knowledge soon after. For a while, since I was indeed having a good time, I was able to put aside my privacy concerns. I shared girlfriends with my boyfriend. I played with girlfriends and their boyfriends. It was easy as pie. Suggestions to come back to our place and get it on were just as normal as say, suggesting a BBQ on Saturday. But, just like anything else, it you do it enough times the thrill wears off. And because everything was being talked about, petty jealousies and drama eventually cropped up and the shine wore off the new penny.

So talk about what you want, but be prepared you might just get what you wish for.