I'm sure a lot of you have heard about the 23 year old teacher down in Florida that had sex with her 14 year old student. But here's a link, in case you haven't:
Reading Teacher Booked
Now I'm not going to advocate teachers sleeping with their students, of course. However, I was just talking to a friend the other day about how womenkind would be better off if teenage boys had their initial sexual experiences with older experienced women. I think it would help the male learning curve tremendously.
Speaking of learning curves, I think while I wasn't looking someone slipped the new friend I've been seeing some kind of Instruction Manual to What Get's Laura Going and/or Off. He's really something else, and I'm feeling rather like I've struck gold. Some days I feel like a very lucky girl, and today is definitely one of those days. Now if he just wasn't leaving the country for a couple of weeks...
My out of town company is arriving soon. Must run off and finish preparing for that. Fun, fun.
JH asked about my favorite book or books. Now that's a tough one. I've been a voracious reader ever since I learned how to read when I was 4. I read an average of 2 books a week now, and when I was younger that number was even higher. If I do the math, I'd can come up with a conservative estimate of over 3,000 books so far. It's quite tough to pick out a favorite or even a few favorites from that number. I've read quite a bit of the Classics. I've read a lot of modern fiction. I find history fascinating, as well as psychology, sociology and philosophy. I rarely read anything you'd find in a supermarket (although tell that to my grandmother, who still gives me brown bags of Jackie Collins novels and the like whenever she gets a chance. I donate them to the old folks home around the corner.)
Will a list of the last month or so's worth of books do?
- Oryx and Crake by Margaret Atwood
- A Short History of Nearly Everything by Bill Bryson
- The Pornographer's Poem by Michael Turner
- Under the Tuscan Sun by Frances Mayes
- Set This House in Order by Matt Ruff
- Blue Shoe by Anne Lamott
- Like the Red Panda by Andrea Seigel
- Running with Scissors by Augusten Burroughs
- Wonder When You'll Miss Me by Amanda Davis
- Why I'm Like This by Cynthia Kaplan
- Humanity: A Moral History of the Twentieth Century by Jonathan Glover
And now on to sexier topics.
A comment by RP got me thinking about the whole sexually stoic thing. I guess I just don't understand it much, myself. I wonder if if stems from early sexual experiences taking place somewhere where it was necessary to be as quiet as possible and then that just becomes the norm? For me, when I don't hear a peep from the man I'm with, I start to worry that I'm not doing something right. (Can you say performance anxiety?) On the other hand, too much hootin' and hollerin' just seems theatrical and forced. I've found a correlation in that the less silent a man is during sex, the more likely he is to be able to discuss sex in general with me which ends up translating into better sex between us overall.
I want one of these glass dildos.
Too bad they're ridiculously expensive.
The Other Laura
mentioned something called Nipple Butter in one of her recent posts and it got me all curious as to what it was. She sweetly emailed me and gave me some more info and then I did a search on it and found mostly stuff that seems to be for nursing women to put on their nips to prevent them from becoming sore and cracked. But she said it was minty stuff, so I found this other stuff called Climax Nipple Gel.
Has anyone else had any experience with this stuff? Certainly seems like it'd be fun to me.
All my life I've struggled with my weight and the only diet I've ever had any real success with has been the Atkins diet. In the past 8 months I've managed to gain 25 lbs, so last week I decided it was about damn time to do something about it and went back on Atkins. Unfortunately this time around I'm absolutely exhausted. I don't remember the last time I did this feeling quite so wiped out during the first week. But I did some research and have found that it's perfectly normal and should only last for another week or so before I'm back to having tons of energy. I feel sort of bad that my friends that are coming to visit are going to get this low-energy version of me, but don't want to scrap over a week's worth of 'hard work' just to be a bit more perky.
Stephen asked me what I thought about those escort review sites like bigdoggie.net and theeroticreview.com, and whether or not a gentleman who frequented those sorts of boards would have less of a chance of getting an appointment with me than someone who did not.
At this point, no one is getting appointments, so we'll presume we're talking about how I felt a couple months ago when I was actively making appointments.
As far as I know, I don't have any reviews on either of those boards. I know a client did post a little blurb about me on a forum at thebigdoggie.net, but it wasn't really what could be considered an actual real review by the usual standards. I'm actually rather glad to have not been reviewed on these boards, for I preferred the people I met to not have any preconceived notions about what I'd be like. Sometimes those reviews contain too much information---like very detailed and specific information about what exactly went on during the reviewer's appointment, and that can lead to expectations. The only thing I ever wanted to be expected of me was that my client was going to enjoy himself.
As far as whether or not I'd make an appointment with someone I knew frequented those boards, I don't think was something I would have been able to know, unless of course the propsective client mentioned to me that he spent a lot of time reading reviews. I think if reviews were something that was important to a client, then he wouldn't be trying to make an appointment with me and it wouldn't be my choice to decline to see him, for he'd have already have decided not to see me.
I never have sex dreams. Maybe never is too strong a word, but they're definitely a very rare occurance. I had the strangest one last night though. I'll spare all of you the gory details, but it was particularly weird because it involved a very good platonic friend and head in front of a whole room full of people, including my mother. Everyone was completely non-plussed, too. Egad. I'm not sure what to make of it. Later on this week this particular friend is coming out from the other side of the country to visit me for a week, along with his wife and baby. (I don't recall the wife and baby being in the dream, thank goodness.)
I've recently made a new friend, but I feel as though discussing it might jinx it somehow, so for the time being I'm going to remain mostly mum on that. Thus far he's been nothing short of marvelous. I'm so looking forward to seeing him again before my friend visting renders me unavailable for a while.
Are you sure you aren't losing interest in being a whore just because someone you know found out about it? There was another blog that is indirectly linked to this one, with a similar situation. She wasn't having sex for money, just alot of it, and for free. I guess that made here a slut and not a whore. Not sure if it matters. Anyway, she was outted by her husband and promptly announced that she didn't feel like writing about it anymore and deleted her blog. I wonder if that is happening here.
Your blog is interesting and I wonder if you just like having sex AND getting money for it. You seem to carefully pick and choose the customers, like you are picking a date. Maybe all women do that to some extent anyway. It sounds like this type of dating game is getting dull now for you. No more excitement from the "big secret".
It was an interesting read. Maybe you'll come up with another good game soon.
Yes, I'm quite positive that I'm not 'losing interest in being a whore' (as you put it) because someone I know found out. That happened almost 2 months ago and didn't dampen my enthusiasm in the slightest. In fact, it was fun to have someone who's opinion I value just as much as my own to talk about it with. I'm pretty sure my boredom is due to my curiosity about what it's like to be a sex worker being sated. I've had plenty of experiences, most of them good, and most very similar to each other in lots of ways. I'm sure the similarity has a lot to do with the fact that I tend to find myself choosing to spend time with the same sort of men over and over. I'm sure if I just decided to be indiscriminate in my appointment setting, I'd wind up having a wider variety of types of experiences, but I'm just not willing to do that. I rather like being alive and healthy and don't get any kind of rush out of the idea of meeting with possible weirdos just because it might be more interesting to do so than to spend time with the 'normal' ones I've been seeing.
Perhaps I just have a short attention span for hobbies. I've always been the kind of person that gets intensely interested in something, does it with great gusto for a while and then when it starts feeling old hat and like there's not much more to learn from it, my enthusisam wanes.
I don't have any intention of 'promptly deleting' my blog. I'm not even sure if I've turned my last trick, so to speak. (I like to keep my options open.) I plan on sticking around as long as folks are still interested in my musings.
A German sociologist Werner Habermehl says regular sex can help university students pass exams and get better grades.
I wonder if irregular sex has a detrimental effect on grades. "Honey, I need to get an A on this exam, so put that goat away." Just kidding. I know what Werner means by 'regular."
Berkeley may vote on prostitution
Just symbolic, but it's a start.
I've been asked if I'd post one of my ads here, so readers could see what I have to say about myself. I'd rather not. I don't really want this blog to be that closely associated with my advertising.
Speaking of advertising, I haven't in quite a while now, and I have no particular plans to do so any time in the near future.
I've been thinking about it quite a bit, and I feel as though I might be at the point where I've satisfied my curiosity about the world of sex for hire. I'm not making any promises about that, for I know I may just change my mind. Obviously, I'll post about it if I do decide to place another ad or spend some time with a 'regular.' But I've been turning down appointments left and right though, and while I don't particularly enjoy disappointing people, I'm just not into it right now and I don't think it would be fair to a client to see him when I'm not feeling enthusiastic.
I guess I'll have to change the name of this blog if I actually commit to retiring, eh?
Mr. X (my former fuck buddy who I've posted about before) is now permanently on my Shit List. We had a conversation yesterday that firmed up in my mind my desire to never speak to him again. I wished him the best of luck in finding a woman with no self-esteem who'd put up with his utter selfishness and thanked him for the life lesson. I think it's interesting how perfectly calm I feel when I know I've made an excellent decision.
Kimberly emailed me a question:
If you have an ad with your picture (did I understand that right?) what if someone you know
from your normal job/college/family/whatever sees it? Or, is it that you send the photo AFTER you see theirs, to avoid those kinds of potentially
I am just dying to know if you're worried that a friend of the family or from work will try to make an appointment with you.
That would scare me off the whole thing.
I send my photo to someone and it's *gasp!* my Dad's best friend!
One of the reasons I never made myself an escort web site is because I didn't want my photo 'out there' for just any random person to come across and recognize me. Like my Dad's best friend, or my brother, or one of my real job clients. I don't put a photo in my actual ad.
I do send a photo, once I've established that I don't know the person who's trying to set up an appointment with me. I figure if somehow someone I do know has disguised themselves so well that I don't realize that I know them, and they do end up with my photo, they're going to be just as interested in keeping the situatiion as non-embarassing as I am since they were the ones that wrote to me in the first place.
I admit it. I have a predilection for men in their 20's when it comes to sex.
Until the question was posed about how does sex with a man in his 40's compare to sex with a younger man, I'd never really thought about why I find myself gravitating towards young whippersnappers. It was just a something I noticed about myself but not something I'd ever analyzed. But it's fun to ponder one's own motivations, and this is what I've come up with as an explanation.
I think the main reason is I'm not a huge fan of quickies. What I mean by that is I prefer the kind of sex that takes all afternoon or all evening. (Or all weekend.) I've found that younger men tend to be better suited towards that than older men, simply because it doesn't take very long for their batteries to recharge. When a younger guy comes, it doesn't mean the entire event is finished, it just means it's time to relax and talk for a few minutes before he's ready to play again. And again. And maybe again after that. I can't say that every young guy I've ever been with has been the Energizer Bunny, but it's been my experience that more young men are then older men. It's just physiology.
Older men, in my experience, are also a bit more set in their ways than younger men. While I'm sure there are exceptions to the rule, I've found it's much more difficult to teach an old dog new tricks than a young dog. The older men I've been with have also tended to be less experimental, perhaps because they're comfortable with their own 'formula' or because they're carrying around more societal baggage about what's sexually acceptable behavior.
However, if it weren't for the older men I've been with, I'd would probably know about half as much about what makes my body feel good, how to make someone else's feel lovely too, and the sorts of things that do turn me on. There's definitely something to be said about learning the ropes from an expert.
A good friend gave me this link the other day:
In Defense of Sluts
How does the old joke go? A slut is a chick that will fuck everyone besides you? Or, if you're a woman throwing out that word to describe another women, does it mean that woman is having more fun than you are?
When was the last time you called someone a slut? And how did you mean it?
i apologize for being out of the whole posting swing of things for a while, but I've been simply too busy with my real job to have time to write, and alas, I haven't had anything to say because all I've been doing is working.
However, the other night after a couple of weeks of basically only leaving the house to do errands, cabin fever finally took over and I decided I wanted to do something amusing--and definitely not 'professional.' I didn't want to have to entertain, I wanted to be entertained. All my friends were busy, so I thought an interesting stranger would do. I placed a post on my favorite board, basically describing myself and the sort of things I enjoy, saying that I had the evening free and would entertain the best fun offer. And that offer came from a gentleman who thought dinner and a french film might be fun. Sounded good to me. So, after a flurry of emails and IMs, we decide on a restaurant. I arrive on time. I wait for 20 minutes, until it dawns on me I'm being stood up.
I go home, and message the lad, wondering what happened. He reveals he had an attack of conscience on the way to meet me since he has a girlfriend at home (he's here on business for a bit) and couldn't go through with it. He apologized up and down and very obviously felt really bad about standing me up. I wasn't even mad. Actually, I was glad he didn't come and hang out if it was going to be something that was going to cause him to be wracked with guilt.
I told him he might be amused to know he's blown off an escort. He was. We chatted quite a bit more, and weirdly enough I believe I've made a new friend.
But it was back to the drawing board for me, and having only 2 evenings left to actually get out of the house, I went back to my inbox and selected a 24 year old cutie pie. He'd conveniently given me his IM screen name and I messaged him. About 3 sentences into our conversation I informed him about this particular hobby but that I didn't want to 'work', figuring if the fact that I do this was going to be a deal breaker then I'd rather get it out of the way before wasting any more time. He was undeterred. We chatted for a good long while and agreed to get together the following night.
We ended our totally amusing evening together in his bed, and I can honestly say I can't remember the last time I felt so much like a limp dishrag after a romp. My goodness. The boy was totally enthusiastic, full of energy, and loads of fun. He wore me out, and that rarely ever happens. Hot damn.
Hope everyone has a great weekend.
I'm totally alive and well.
And I'll actually compose a real post in a little while. Promise.
I think the best thing about this blog is not what I type, but the conversations that develop in the comments section. People get intense! A new controversy every day. I'll admit that sometimes I get quite annoyed when I feel as if I'm not able to articulate my thoughts clearly enough to get through to some folks, but then I have to remind myself that everything I think and everything I do seems perfectly reasonable to me because I know the whole story. I've lived my history. I've been there the entire time. My perspective has been shaped by all sorts of events and situations that I haven't put out here for all to read. I'm really trying my best to not let the frustration discourage me from continuing to write.
Math was never my best subject in school. One of the best teachers I've ever had encouraged me to tutor Algebra, even though I felt I was struggling myself . She told me that by trying to teach others, I'd begin to understand it better myself. She was absolutely right. I think perhaps this blog is a lot like that for me. I'm gaining a greater understanding of myself by constantly being questioned. I think that's a good thing. It's like free therapy.
Pistachio asked me, since I've obviously slept with a number of people over the course of escorting, (and thus sampled a whole lotta merchandise, I suppose) what do I think makes a good lover? I think it mostly boils down to a few particular qualities. I'm all for the type of person who doesn't have a whole lot of inhibitions about themselves, their bodies, and what turns them on. I think if you're ashamed of yourself, you can't be fully present in the moment because you're too busy with your self-consciousness. The best kinds of lovers aren't afraid to say what's on their mind, to try something just because they think it might feel really good, or to simply just lose themselves in pleasure. Good lovers want to communicate and experiment and play. I could go on and on, but it's late, and I need my beauty sleep.
I don't wish to go into too much detail discussing the myriad of ways over the course of my very, very long relationship with my boyfriend that I have attempted to make him a more sexual person. I spent the first couple of years anguishing over his low sex drive-- Is it me? Does he not find me attractive? Am I lousy in bed? After deciding that no, it couldn't possibly me me, I proactively tried to get him to try new things with me to find something that would interest him--- everything from new positions to role playing, bdsm stuff, bringing home girlfriends for him to play with, etc. This wasn't something that went on for a couple of months, this was YEARS of trying to be as creative as humanly possible with little result. His libido was still as low as ever. I finally gave up trying.
Anyway, I'm not going to go into the whole history of my relationship and exactly how it ended up being open, but it did, and where things were not fine for a very long time, now they are. If you feel bad for my boyfriend, or want to judge me, that's fine. I can't and don't care. I don't wish to justify my relationship and it's intricacies any more and I won't. How we're dealing with our relationship is not an issue I care to discuss anymore.
A curious reader wanted to know what are the differences between having sex with my boyfriend and having sex with clients.
The sex I have with my boyfriend is rarely surprising. When you've been sleeping with someone for more than a decade, you tend to know all their moves, and vice-versa. You know what they do, how they do it, how long they'll do it for, and in what order the things they do will happen. If you're me, you also know that there's not a whole lot of animal lust going on, either, but you accept that as perfectly normal. I know that the pleasuring that is going on is done out of love, not passion, and that's ok.
When I'm with a client, I don't know anything for sure. Every client is like a new puzzle to figure out and therefore it is a challenge for me. I have to pay much closer attention to whatever it is that I'm doing, since it's not a tried and true method as it is with my boyfriend. My clients aren't motivated by love to have sex with me , they're motivated by more base feelings--like lust, for instance. They want to have sex with me because they're horny and they find me attractive, not because I cook them dinner and snuggle with them during the Sopranos.
I'm not even sure if that is the information the curious reader was looking for, but it was a stab.
It's Monday, I'm home alone for a week, and my car is in the shop.
The weekend started off promisingly enough. Since my boyfriend was going to be out of town on business all this week, he planned an actual date for Saturday night. For inspiration, I bought him a book about all kinds of little known fun things to do in our city. I suggested that we could flip a coin to decide to gets to plan the first date. He won the first coin toss. I was pleased he loved the book, and the idea, since it takes the pressure of being creative off his shoulders. Unfortunately, whatever can go wrong usually does go wrong and not even an hour into the date my car started pissing anti-freeze. Not a slow leak, mind you, but torrents and torrents of fluid. We decided to carry on, nonetheless, and wound up stopping many times over the course of the night to put more fluid in the car. Despite this annoying problem, we had a remarkably good time.
It's weird how when you're home alone and your car works just fine, you're perfectly happy to just laze about, doing all kinds of relaxing puttering, but when your car does not work you feel like a prisoner and you have a burning desire to go to Walmart to purchase new shelf paper for your kitchen cabinets.
I suppose I could look at this inconvenience as a blessing in disguise, because I really do have tons of work to do, and since I can't go anywhere, I might as well just buckle down and get to work. Perhaps the universe is conspiring to help me overcome my natural tendency to procrastinate?
permission or forgiveness?
You have a unique ability: would you choose to be invisible or the ability to fly? Would you use your gift for good or bad? If you chose invisible, what if you couldn't turn it on and off (you're invisible all the time)?
I'd rather be able to be invisble. I'd probably use that gift for both good and evil, since I am human. I mean, I'd like to think I'd only do good with it, but let's be realistic here. If I couldn't turn it off, I wouldn't want it.
If there's one thing that you could say at your death bed "my life was not wasted because I done ..........", what is it?
Every time I make another person feel good in some way, I feel like I'm fulfilling a decent purpose. I think if more people spent time trying to make other people smile the world would be a more pleasant place. Trite, I know. Whatever.
Shivering Timbers asked:
If your profession was legal, would it be easier (because you don't have to worry about law enforcement), or harder (because you would--presumably--have more competition)?
I think it would be easier if it was legal. I don't think there would be such a huge number of women flocking to whore just because it was made legal, so the amount of extra competition would be balanced by the number of men that would avail themselves of the services of a prostitute if it was easier to hire one.
Jack Black asked:
Favorite historical, mythological, or fictional prostitute?
Probably Annie Sprinkle because she just plain rocks.
If a decent gentleman wanted to negotiate for all of your available services for a month (exclusive), what is the lowest rate you would consider? How about for a year?
How often would I have to see him? Obviously the fee would depend on that.
I guess my question would be this: How would you feel if you had a daughter and she went into the profession (or some other sex-worker business)?
I'd like to think I'd be fine with it, since I'm not a hypocrite. But who knows.
"If you could rid the world of one thing, what would it be? ie, Banana's, the color Mauve, the word dude, back hair, Howard Stern. Something of that sort."
Definitely people who are a combination of both mean and stupid. I have a low tolerance.
I guess the most important question I can think of asking is ... do you have any plans to come to Chicago?
I thought perhaps I should run a contest, since I'm not advertising right now and therefore I'm not acquiring new material to discuss. Something like, whoever comes up with the most thought-provoking question that I haven't yet answered, I'll give you a free hour of my time.
I'm just teasing, naturally. The logistics of doling out the prize would be rather difficult to manage.
Sometimes real life intrudes on fun, and right now seems to be one of those times. I have take a little hiatus from advertising for new clients right now, since I don't have time to do all the communicating necessary to set up a simple 1 hour appointment with someone new. With a client I've seen before, it's a very easy process. They write and ask if I'm available on a certain day and time, and I answer, and that's that. As Linda Richman would say, "No big whoop."
Unfortunately all work and no play makes Laura feel like a very dull girl. I'm definitely suffering from a bit of ennui. I think my real job is the best job in the world as far as freedom and flexibility is concerned, but I don't get paid unless I actually do the work and the work itself isn't exactly fascinating. Hopefully the next few weeks will go by in a flash and I can get back to enjoying myself.
Oy, I guess I wasn't clear about what I meant in yesterday's post when I mentioned prospective clients asking me what I want to do. I probably should have explained better that via email it's not a good idea to discuss sexual specifics, and that is what I was complaining about--not about the question itself. In person, I'm happy to hear that question and provide explicit suggestions as to exactly what I'd like.
And, to add my voice to the chorus: If you haven't already, find a theatre where Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind is playing and go and see it. It doesn't matter if you normally can't stand Jim Carrey (I cannot either) or Kate Winslet. Just go. Be sure to bring someone who'll wish to discuss it with you afterwards.