I think it's kind of funny when I get an email from a prospective client trying to set up an appointment with me asking, "Well, what do you want to do?" This question isn't in reference to what do I want to do in regards to the setting up of a time and place, but in regards to the session itself. This happens quite a lot. Generally I reply with something to the effect of, "Isn't what *you*want the important thing?" I've come to realize that this particular question always comes from a man that's never hired an escort before.
Clients often ask me if I have any fantasies, too. I feel a little weird telling them that I've pretty much taken care of my fantasies at this point, so I usually attempt to change the subject. Sometimes they persist though, so I have to come up with something imaginative on the fly. Maybe I should set aside some time to actually think of some sexual situations/acts that I haven't actually done yet so I'll have something interesting to reel off when I'm asked that question in the future.
It's been a quiet weekend around here. I've spent the entire weekend in my office working (my real job). My boyfriend has been busy with his family and friends and hasn't been around much. Before he left this morning to do yet another activity with one of his friends that I did not find even the slightest bit interesting, I asked him if he would take me somewhere later on when he returned. He said, "Whatever you want to do..." and I told him I didn't have anything specific in mind and that I would be happiest if he'd just think of something himself and surprise me. I'm getting so stir crazy that I'd be satisfied doing something simple like feeding some ducks and getting an ice cream cone.
I got my first ad response requesting scat. That's definitely on my 'hard limit' list, meaning no how, no way. The guy was really nice about it, however, indicating to me that he hoped not to offend me and realized it was probably not on my 'to do' list, but he figured he'd ask anyway. It must be so difficult to have an unusual fetish and to find other like minded people to play with. At least with the internet, revealing your fetish can be an anonymous process and you don't have to deal with broaching the topic in person, say, over a candlelit dinner on your third date.
Way back in the days of old when I was in college, through the course of my summer job I met a very sweet and shy guy who shared a secret with me. His fetish was infantilism. He couldn't get aroused unless he was wearing diapers, etc. His dilemma was that his bride to be was not into this at all, but would participate begrudgingly. He was afraid if he married her, he'd be doomed to a terrible sex life filled with shame (since her reactions made him feel ashamed). Sometimes I think about him and wonder if he did marry her or not, and if not, with the advent of the internet, has he managed to find someone who shared his fetish?
Today has been a delightful day overall. I negotiated a very sweet deal for myself for my 'real job' this morning, and then got home to find an email from a favorite client. He's been trying to set something up with me since the last time I saw him, but our schedules never seem to mesh. It wasn't too difficult for me to decide to see him right away instead of getting some actual real work done.
There's something totally sexy about deep kissing a man after he's licked your pussy. I love that, and especially love it when it's verbally acknowledged that that's what's going on.
And now I've got some errands to do, so I can cook something lovely for my girlfriend who's coming over for out semi-weekly 'hen party." I'll be shopping with a slight smirk on my face.
The flap-doodle that is my escortng inbox, recently:
"U CAN COME TO MY WORK...,,,,CAN U SEND PIC"
"i'm interested, but are you married?"
"tomorrow??(anytime after 1 works for me)"
"what would an hour costo today..."
Those are actual complete responses to an ad I placed. Slim slim pickins, kids. Apparently all the interesting and intelligent men are on vacation these days. Looks like I'm going to have plenty of time to re-organize my sock drawer in the near future.
A reader asked:
I know you have to do a lot of looking to find a sex worker who is conformable having anal sex with a client. Provided you use condoms the health risk is similar to regular intercourse so I wonder why so few sex workers are convertible providing that service. Is it physical comfort, personal likes/dislikes, or perhaps discomfort with the level of physical intimacy involved? What do you think?
I'm sure different working girls have different reasons for not offering anal sex as part of their repetoire. I don't because I very rarely have anal sex, ever, so it's one of those things for me that I can't just spontaneously do without a lot of, er, advance preparation. So for me it has nothing to do with the whole 'taboo' aspect of it, it's because it would be very physically uncomfortable for me to do it.
I hesitate to make any sweeping generalizations about why it's offered so rarely, because I am only sure of why it's not something that's on my menu.
On another note, I love HBO on Demand. I just finished watching one of their Late Night Specials called "Cathouse." It's a documentary about the Moonlite Bunny Ranch, a brothel in Nevada. I found it fascinating. Most of the segments had to do with negotiating with the clients. How it worked is that the men would enter the place, and all the girls would come and line up and the man would choose one, and they'd go off to a private bedroom together to negotiate. The lady would sit the guy on the bed and basically hang all over him while she told him how much a 'party' would cost--and each negotiation was different. The ranges were from $500 for a porn star to masturbate for two brothers (they balked at the $3,000 she originally mentioned for a threesome including actual sex), to $1000 a mother paid to get her son laid for the first time, to $15,000 a man paid to spend time with 3 of the ladies at once. Once the negotiation was done, the madam would come in to collect the funds and then she'd leave and apparently the fun would begin. All of the women appeared to be absolutely delighted to work there. It certainly paints a much different picture than the other HBO hooker specials I've seen on streetwalkers.
A reader asked me a question regarding Law Enforcement that I think is best left for hobbyists to answer. He wondered how to tell if an escort is real, or just LE trying to set men up?
Jack, commenting on my last post, said:
Hopefully you didn't give up on the Stranger Sex fantasy after one bad experience...
Well, obviously not, or this blog wouldn't exist. That experience wasn't frightening, it was just very disappointing. I imagined it would be fun and it wasn't fun. But it didn't put me off the whole Stranger Sex concept entirely, since I was hopeful that I'd just selected a really weird dude to experiment with. What it did was make me think that if there was a chance I was going to be treated like a whore, I ought to at least be getting paid like one. That way, if the sex turned out to be crappy, I'd have something to show for my efforts besides a lousy memory of the incident.
I was doing a little Spring cleaning on my hard drive, and I found this little rant I wrote for the Rants and Raves section of Craigslist a while back before I started doing the escort thing. I'm posting it here because this particular experience was one of the prompts, so to speak, for my current hobby. I'll talk about why this helped in prompting me to consider escorting later on in another post. So, without further ado...here's my Rant:
So I had a weird experience that I feel I'm ready to talk about.
I've had this Stranger Sex fantasy for as long as I can remember, but had never done anything about it because of the usual concerns one has about planning something like that. However, I had an opportunity and decide to take the plunge---Craigslist Casual Encounters to the rescue. I wrote a very specific ad about the experience I was looking for and post it, and within minutes, have more replies than I know what to do with. One response catches my eye----respondent is not only funny, but very very attractive as well. My oh my, I think and get back to him. We banter back and forth for a day, and I'm nervous but looking forward to it. It's scheduled. It's on.
My ad very specifically mentioned how I wanted to smoke some pot before commencing sexual activities. I didn't mean smoke it all by myself while Stranger sat and told me horror stories about what happened the last time he smoked. Grrrreat. That was excellent for my mood. Certainly put me well at ease. *sigh*
More warning lights begin to flash when Stranger breaks away in the middle of passionately kissing me to ask me if the tiny little freckle on my upper lip is a freckle....OR NOT. I inform him that yes, it's only a freckle. Sheesh. However, I so much want to have a good time and so I ignore the red flags. Things proceed into the bedroom...
Stranger gets even weirder during his blow job. "I think this is the best blow job I've ever had," he says, but with this kind of odd suspicious look on his face and strange tone in his voice. Like he's thinking, "Hmmm...she's done this before. Oh my god!" I'm in a relationship, and yes, I do blow my man. To have implied in order to be good at something like head one must have given it away to a cast of thousands, or whatever...well, I was beginning to get a little insulted, but figured maybe it was my imagination. After all, this was supposed to be fun. I decide maybe I'm being just being paranoid.
Eventutally, Stranger decides he wants to fuck me. As he hands me a condom, he says, "Do you know how to put one of these on?" He might as well have said, "Now is my little test to see if you actually do practice safe sex." I say, "Well, yeah" and take the condom from him and put it on him. Stranger appears satisfied with my Rascal Wrapping and we get down to business.
While Stranger is banging away, I'm not even remotely aroused because I'm thinking about the pot thing, the freckle thing, the blow job thing, and the condom thing.
During post-coital chat, Stranger says, "You don't have any diseases, do you?" What kind of thing is THAT to say? If you're worried about that, that's something you should discuss prior, not after. At any rate, this chat didn't last very long. It was definitely the straw that made me want to put my clothes on and go back home which is exactly what I did. Goddamn.
Anyway, to sum this up: Why would anyone offer to fulfil a woman's Stranger Sex Fantasy if all he's going to do the entire time is basically insinuate that the woman must be some kind of disease-ridden slut if she's skilled at kissing, head, and putting on condoms?
So much for that fantasy. Oh well.
I've been too busy with my ordinary work/life lately to make any appointments with clients. Right now I'm as caught up as I can be with regular work and I'm waiting on others, so I've got some free time. I think it's about time to craft a new ad. I'm bored with the old one.
I absolutely need to do something about getting together some decent tasteful photographs of myself. I wish I could make myself actually enthusiastic about the idea, but I can't get the whole 'chore' concept out of my mind. I always feel silly posing for photos. And then there's the issue of who do I ask to play photographer? I did have one barter offer a while back from a prospective client who happened to be a photographer, but he wanted me to pee on him and I just couldn't bring myself to entertain that idea seriously.
I guess now I have 37 items on my to do list.
I'm ok. I thank everyone who wrote concerned comments and emails. I was just having a down day, that's all. And my feeling down had nothing to do with escorting at all.
I think what it all boiled down to the other day is that I put a lot of energy into relationships with people I care about, regardless if I'm getting anything back, and eventually getting nothing back just wears me out and I question why I even bother. I feel taken for granted sometimes and that frustrates me. However, I also realize that I create my own monsters and that's an issue I have to work on. So no, it isn't a problem that getting a facial is going to fix. I'm not overworked and exhausted, trust me on that one.
But it's alright. I'm not a wreck or anything. I'm fine. Seriously.
I've got a dishwasher to load and laundry to do and then I'm going to spend the evening with some of my very favorite people.
I feel really unmotivated today.
I have a list of about 36 things that I should be doing, but I don't feel like doing any of them. I'm grumpy. I don't want to see anyone and I don't want to do anything. I'm restless. I'm boring myself. I never bore myself, so it's particularly weird. A friend of mine stopped by for a visit and now I just feel drained. I just had an unpleasant conversation with fuck buddy X. I thnk I need to endeavor to spend time with someone soon that doesn't want me to entertain them. Perhaps someone that wants to entertain and amuse me, for a change. I really feel like I need my batteries recharged like that.
I'm tired of talking about married men, so here's something new to discuss.
When I'm on my way to visit a client, it's generally during/after a very busy day doing my real work or errand-like activities where I've spent not a whole lot of it even remotely thinking about sex, or feeling particularly sexy. So it's when I'm on my way there to see the client that I have to put myself into the whole mindset of what I'm about to do. I find that music helps me to relax and put myself into the proper sexy frame of mind I need to be in.
A while back, before anyone read this thing, I asked for musical suggestions and I got a few. But I figure if I ask again, I'd get more results now. What do you listen to that makes you feel sexy? Specific songs, bands, musical genres?
Help me out here, folks.
Is it just me, or when someone says, "I'm not making a judgment here, but..." when they ask a question, they usually are?
An anonymous stripper asked:
Laura, how do you feel when you are with a married man, knowing that there's a huge probability that his wife is unaware of his conduct. I am curious, not asking in any judgmental manner. Or are most of your married clients in sexless relationships where there's a sort of willful blindness in part of the wives? I've been reading many posts by hobbyists, and frankly, I get somewhat sickened.
As an exotic dancer, stripper, I've encountered my fair share of married men, who want to touch, to take me out, to wine and dine me, and they have rings on their fingers. The GFE they seek is even more bothersome, as a result, I hate regulars, and try not to have any. I don't know, I know I can't be judgmental about it, but it bugs me immensely to think of these poor wives.
I don't tend to discuss the relationships of my gentlemen callers with them unless they bring it up and they usually do not, so I am not sure if most of my married clients are in sexless marriages where the wives are turning a blind eye to their husband's attempts to get some sexual gratification. It's not really a usual topic of conversation. I would be willing to bet though that the wives are more blind, than turning a blind eye. Either way, it's none of my business.
Do I feel sorry for these 'poor wives?' No. I do not. I don't feel anything for the wives, since I do not know them. My clients' relationships with other people are not my concern. What I'm concerned about is how my clients treat me, and how I treat them. If I were to consider the 'poor wife' of a client, I'd actually consider the 'poor wife' lucky that her husband has spent time with me, a person who has no emotional designs on her husband and who has no ulterior motives to upset the 'poor wife's' marriage. And if an occasional afternoon spent with me keeps a husband from deciding to start boinking that hottie in accounting (who might just decide she wants the husband for herself), again, I consider the wife lucky.
Anon stripper, I think that if it bugs you immensely to think of the poor wives of your clientele, you have some choices. You can either stop thinking about the wives, or you can choose another career path. Spending your time feeling guilty is not particularly healthy for you.
And on another note:
I spent the early evening hours last night with a marvelous new client. I chose him out of a number of possible choices because I liked his looks a lot and also what he had to say in his correspondence. I hit the jackpot-- very sexy, funny and smart, and orally skilled enough to get me off in record time. Later, while he was fucking me, I said, "God, I hope your walls aren't thin!" and that's when he pointed out the cafe we'd met in was just on the other side of the bedroom wall. Whoops. Granted, I don't think he minded much since he didn't stuff a sock in my mouth or stop what he was doing, and I came a second time. Yowza, yowza. I was definitely relaxed and smiling on my way home. Some appointments are much more fun than others, and this one ranked right up there.
I've gotten a whole bunch of emails over time asking me if I can help finding an escort like me. I haven't addressed the question before since I honestly have no idea.
So, I thought I'd throw this one out to the hobbyists out there.
It's a beautiful day. The sun is shining, I just spent the afternoon with a delightful gentleman, and I'm about to make this for dinner. Oh, and it's Friday! I'm in a great mood.
The gentleman, an author, fits the profile of the men I enjoy spending time with--intelligent, genuine, interesting and very pleasant. I'm always pleased when my screening process actually does net me one of those (and it usually does), but when he turns out to be an excellent lover too---well, that's just a total bonus. He was a terrific kisser, and had magic fingers and tongue too. I suppose I'm always hopeful that I'm going to enjoy the actual sex part, but it's rare for someone to just have the right kind of touch without needing a bunch of direction on my part. I usually expect to have to work harder for my fun. Sometimes I just luck out though, and today was one of those times.
I got an email from a reader asking me some questions all pertaining to the sense of smell.
1) Do clients usually wear cologne? Do you like that? Do they often wear too much? (I know I tend toward the "more is better" attitude toward life in general, and cologne in particular, one of my great failings :)) 2) how important is a man's scent to you?? do you prefer a more natural, clean scent, or cologne? what is your favorite cologne?
Interesting. My clients do not usually wear cologne. I do like cologne, but I prefer it applied so that I actually have to have my nose very close to the gentleman to smell it, vs. being able to tell from 5 feet away that he's wearing it. I find too much to be distracting.
Scent is very important to me. My boyfriend, for example, always somehow manages to just naturally smell marvelous. He doesn't wear cologne, and I'm glad because it would cover up his natural scent. God only knows why, but his neck always smells to me like clean laundry. Weird.
On the other hand, my buddy X always smells fabulous, too, and he does wear cologne. I particularly like it when he wears Le Man by Jean Paul Gaultier. It smells fantastic on him. He doesn't know this, but sometimes when I see him I'll put a little on my wrist so I can sniff it later after I've left. Yeah, ok, maybe I'm strange.
I find it interesting how certain smells can bring up instant memories. For instance, whenever I smell a warm wet paper towel, I think about being a little girl, standing in front of my grandmother's sink. It was a little ritual having her wash my messy face after a Fudgsicle in the summertime.
I had an interesting appointment last night with a somewhat cynical hobbyist. For those not familiar with the lingo, a hobbyist is someone who's seen a lot of escorts.
We'd chatted for an hour or so via IM before making the appointment, and I liked him immediately. He was smart, funny and engaging and here in my area for a couple of weeks on business. He travels quite a bit for work and has whiled away some hours with various working girls. I could tell from some of his remarks during our chat that he was a bit jaded by some not so terrific experiences, but had had some that were worthwhile enough he didn't feel the desire to abandon the practice entirely. More on that later.
We'd talked about kissing, for instance, during our chat and I mentioned that I really enjoy kissing. He said something to the effect of "Sure, sure" and indicated that I was probably just a good marketer and saying the right things. I wasn't really all that concerned about this cynicism regarding my honesty because I figure it's pretty apparent when you're with me that I'm totally for real and he'd see for himself soon enough.
In person, things got off to a good start. The first real hitch occurred when, after a bunch of head, he'd decided he wanted to fuck. So I get on top (which isn't my favorite position, by the way) and it felt nice. Very nice, actually. So I'm just doing my thing, and not being particularly self-conscious about it, either. I was just enjoying myself. After a little while, I noticed he had this sort of smirking expression on his face, so I commented on it. I don't remember exactly what I said, but it was something to the effect of, "You're smirking at me." And he says, "Oh, that's just because I'm wondering how much of what you're doing is real and how much is fake."
I was thrown for a bit of a loop. I have no idea how most escorts would react to that kind of statement, but how I reacted was to stop what I was doing and dismount.
I quietly and rather patiently informed him that I don't bother faking anything. Why should I? What would be the point? I left off the rest of what I was thinking which was, "Since if you're not fun, I'm not going to see you again anyway, so why bother with any ego stroking theatrics?"
I think if it weren't for the advance knowledge I had regarding his previous escorting experiences, I would have been a lot more irritated about the questioning of my integrity. But, since I did like him quite a lot and realized that he certainly had valid enough reasons to assume I was embellishing my enthusiasm, I decided to excuse it. I told him this. I'm not sure if he believed me, then, but I think by the time I left he most certainly did.
After that little discussion was over, he got on top. He said he wanted to see me orgasm. But I couldn't. I was close, very close, but I couldn't relax enough to do it, since I was now self-conscious. Oh well.
We ended up spending several hours together, and did a quite a lot of Naked TalkingTM. One interesting thing we discussed was how B.F. Skinner's Operant Conditioning theories relate to seeing escorts. (He asked me if I'd taken any psychology classes and I said I had and then didn't correct him when he incorrectly attributed the theory to Piaget, who actually was involved with child developmental theories.) Skinner experimented with rats in a special box. The box contained a lever that when pressed, would distribute food pellets. At first, every press of the lever would cause a pellet to come down to the hungry rat. The interesting thing is that Skinner observed that when he made it so that with every press of the lever the rat was not rewarded with a pellet (the pellet would only appear at random intervals) the rats kept on pressing.
As long as they knew that sometimes a pellet would come out, they were compelled to keep trying. This can relate to seeing escorts. If your first couple of experiences with escorts are good, even if you wind up having a bad one every now and again (no pellet) , you're compelled to keep pressing that lever, so to speak.
Anyway, despite the little hitches, I had a great time with a great guy and I think that by the time I left he realized I wasn't shittin' him.
I got an email from a reader the other day that wondered if I've taken very many cherries.
Professionally? No. None, actually. At least none that I'm aware of.
In my ordinary life I've been involved in 3 such occasions. One was my first time too and involved my very first 'serious' boyfriend. The other two wound up turning into relationships that ended badly when the boys fell in love and I did not. I actually was wary both of these times about divesting them of their virginity and should have listened to my inner voice. I tend to avoid virgins at all costs now. I don't want to feel responsible for anyone's angst.
I don't want to get too excited yet, but I think my new cable modem just may be the fix I needed.
It's amazing what you can get done when your internet connection isn't working. I'm sitting in a clean office. Yippee.
Alas, I have nothing prurient to report save a brief afternoon tryst with Mr. X. (I'd have preferred it to have been with a different Letter Boy, but the universe tends to conspire against that so I took what I could get instead.) I haven't spent much time with Mr. X lately, so he was on his best behavior and was actually not unpleasant to be around for a change. I've realized if he starts to get too obnoxious, all I have to do is avoid him for a while and he becomes uncharacteristically amiable.
On a completely different note, I want to address the STD issue, for the final time.
I get emails from people asking me how can I do this and not be worried about STDs. Of course I'm concerned about STDs. And since I am concerned, I take as many reasonable precautions as I can to avoid contracting one, and probably even more so than someone who doesn't spend as much time as I do having sex. (I don't have that "Aw, it'll never happen to me" syndrome.) Of course there is still a risk, regardless of the precautions I take. I certainly am well aware of this. I am also aware that someday I may be run over by a bus, or be in an automobile accident. Does it make me afraid to cross the street? Do I refuse to drive or ride in a car? No and no. Why? Because I take reasonable precautions. I look both ways before I cross and wear my seatbelt, too.
That is about all I have to say on this particular topic. If you have all sorts of questions about STDs and prevention, don't ask me, but feel free to go and ask Google. There's a wealth of knowledge out there.
My internet connection has been flaky since early Saturday, which is why I haven't posted. I'm hoping this post will go thru, but it's a crap shoot at this point.
Cable guy comes tomorrow to maybe replace my modem. Hopefully he'll be able to fix the problem. Cross your fingers for me so we can get back to the regularly scheduled programming here!
I believe I've been having email problems. I fear that due to the way I seem to need to have Microsoft Outlook set up to retrieve and send my 'happyhooking' mail, replies I've been writing to emails that have been sent to me are not making it off my mail server and to the recipient.
So, if you've emailed me recently and I have not addressed your question in a blog post, it's very likely I responded to you personally and the response just went out into the ether, and not to you. Until I figure this out, I'm going to use the 'web mail' function of this email account to send mail. If you've sent me mail lately to the firstname.lastname@example.org address and would actually like to hear back from me, please feel free to send your email again and I'll use web mail to respond.
I've been kind of wondering why no one ever seems to respond to any replies I send. I guess it's no wonder, since I have the feeling no one is getting mail from me!
Doh. I apologize for the inconvenience.
Isis commented on a previous post, speaking about escorts in my "demographic":
They also tend be around this business for a short period, until goals are met, the risk becomes too great, or something better comes along.
And then Ed commented:
Along that line, would you care to comment about what would be "better" that might lure you away from us all? I mean, if you didn't have your 'extra curricular' activities that become the source of subject matter for new posts, that would be potential loss for us all. But to a greater question, .. "what adventures would fulfill your need for sexual variety enough to draw you away from your present 'hobby'?" For example, it sounds like your 'intimacy' with 'Y' has the foundation of trust, communication, respect and affection that tends to lend itself to committed relationships. If 'Y' were to throw the "M" word at you (I mean offer it gently), would that sound too much like monotony or lack of variety? An 'Open' relationship seems like what you already have with the live-in-friend-boyfriend, so that would suggest maybe you would want to take that component along into "something better"? Given the declining longivity of marriage in the USA now, maybe you've already 'found something better' and the quote from "isis" is simply 'out of date' ?
Perhaps I'm wrong, but I didn't take isis's comment about "something better" coming along to mean a committed relationship. I think he meant something better in terms of employment, not marriage.
I'm not looking for a husband. I'm not biding my time, hoping that someone will come along and 'take me away from all this' and install me in a suburban house, and make babies with me. That's just not the game plan I have for my life. I don't want children, and I have no desire to ever be legally bound to someone 'til death do us part.' Some people tell me when I tell them this, that it's just because I haven't met the right person yet for that. I feel, quite strongly, that there is no 'right person' for that--for me. It's been suggested to me as well that the reason for my open relationship status with my boyfriend must be because he's not right for me, and if he was, then I wouldn't have the desire to have other relationships as well. Of course, I vehemently disagree. (My relationship with my boyfriend has been going on for longer than most American marriages generally last. By the way. So I don't have issues with sustaining long term relationships.) What's ironic to me is that usually the people that suggest I must not be happy are miserable themselves.
Perhaps for some, monogamy is natural and it's what they want for themselves. That's fine. But the concept just isn't natural or at all interesting to me and although maybe someday I'll change my mind, right now I honestly can't conceive of the idea that I'll ever feel differently about that, regardless of who I meet.
So, to sort of summarize here, I'm not looking for 'something better.' I'm just amusing myself, and trying my best to amuse those that enter my world, for however brief or long a time that may be. And when my current hobby no longer amuses me, I'm sure I'll find something else that does, since I always do.
I actually wish I had something fascinating to post about at the moment, but it would appear that the men in my local area are more interested in jerking me around via email than actually spending time with me.
"Yeah, I want to see you but only if you'll take just $100 and I can fuck you up the ass." --This was from a guy who's orginal reply went on and on about how very generous he is.
"Can you send me more pictures?" ---Oh how people love to collect photos of escorts.
"Um, I can't host. Can you get a hotel room?" --I very plainly state that I do not do incalls. I think I say it about 3 times within 3 paragraphs.
"So what do you do, exactly, for the money?" Hello Law Enforcement Officer. Want my address too?
I'm irritated and there's no Ben & Jerry's in the freezer to console myself with either.
Several folks have written to ask me about my Movable Type installation, so if you have no idea what I'm talking about, just disregard the rest of this post, since it's bound to bore you to tears.
I wanted to be able to use PHP and a bunch of features that MT offers that you can't use on a Blogger account, so I bought some hosting and a domain name from Godaddy.com. After a lot of research, I finally figured out how to actually get MT installed on a Godaddy hosted server (the configuration isn't the same as what's specified in the installation files for MT) and I got it up and running. I was able to export all the posts from Blogger into MT and it all worked just fine and dandy. However, the comments system I've been using is from Commentthis.com. (Not Haloscan--I'm using that for trackback. I wish I'd known about Haloscan in the first place when I originally made the Blogger site). Commenthis.com's system does not allow you to export your comment files. I didn't want to simply leave all the comments behind that have been made so far and I didn't want to have to go thru all sorts of manual cutting and pasting of these comments into the Blogger file I created to import into MT, either. (However, recently one very kind blog reader did take the time to manually cut and paste all the comments that have been made so far into a file for me. I just don't have time to put the entries in this file into the correct format that I can actually use.)
So, to make a long story short, I got MT installed and working and then pretty much put the MT site on hold for the time being, until I have time to address the commenting issue. The site you're reading right now is the original Blogger hosted site, and doesn't utilize MT at all. A few of you have wondered about the 'look' of the blog--is it some MT template? Well, no. I just modified the hell out of the original Blogger template.
Bill asked, in my comments section of my latest post:
To what extent do you think your "profile" (i.e. young woman who does it because it's good money and she enjoys it and is not supporting a drug habit or any of the other prostitution stereotypes, etc.) is common? Are you the rule or the exception?
Well, first of all, I'm not really a 'young' woman, per se. I'm in my early...no wait...probably MID 30's now. (Ack! Wasn't it just recently i was 22?) I'm sure to some, I can still be considered young, but as far as this particular profession goes, I'm definitely no spring chicken. From what I can gather from reading various escort ads, most seem to be under 30, and quite a few are under 25. In reality, though, these ladies are probably not as young as they advertise. I'll openly admit that I shave a few years off my own age when I write an ad, but if someone asks me my age, I'll inform them of the truth.
I think there are quite a few women working that don't fit the whole HBO Undercover Hooker stereotype. Like me, they have figured out that it's an awfully fun way to earn very good money, and do it, and are as discreet as possible about it. The reason you don't know they are there in your community is because these sorts of working girls don't stand on street corners and make their presence known. Perhaps they work for an escort agency one night a week to supplement their incomes as social workers, or they do incalls in their homes while their husbands are at work. They don't talk about it with too many people due to the whole stigma, and no one would ever suspect this is something they're doing at all. But they're out there, enjoying themselves. I'm sure of it.
Based on conversations I've had with my clients, the experiences we have together are noteworthy in their minds compared to some of the ladies they've seen in the past. And for all I know, they're just blowing sunshine up my ass and being nice. A part of me tends to believe them though because they keep in touch and wish see me again. I get the feeling that the way I do things is a bit different from the mainstream. Or maybe I just give great head and they don't really care about the stuff like kisses and carresses and my sparkling personality.
I think the thing is I'm not jaded, yet. When I go to see a new client, it still feels to me a bit like I'm going on a blind date and I have a limited amount of time to make sure my date's relaxed and comfortable with me as a person and vice versa. Putting complete strangers at ease isn't the simplest task in the world, but I got an early lesson at doing that because of all the moving we did when I was kid. Perhaps that's one of the reasons for my successful experiences escorting. One of the complaints I've heard about some escorts is that they are all business and don't spend enough time making sure their client is relaxed and good to go. (It was pointed out to me how some advertise a 30 minute GFE session. GFE stands for 'girlfriend experience.' You can't do a 30 minute GFE, unless you consider the fact that you gave him a kiss the beginning makes you a GFE. It just doesn't, and in my mind, shouldn't. It's like advertising filet mignon and substituting hamburger. They're both beef, sure, but..)
So Bill, I think I'm more of an exception than the rule. But isn't that what everyone wants to think about themselves? That they're special?
A regular blew me off today. I finally got home from where we were supposed to be meeting and called him (since I foolishly didn't bring his cell # with me) and he said "Oh, I forgot."
FORGOT? You just made this appointment with me yesterday morning, for cryin' out loud.
What big ole waste of my time, gas and good mood. A half an hour drive, a half an hour of waiting while reading a magazine I thankfully had in my car, and then a half an hour of driving back home. I was pretty pissed at myself on the drive home for not bringing his phone number with me, especially since it even occured to me to find it but I was in a hurry and decided I wouldn't need it.
Live and learn, I guess.
On the flip side, yesterday I had a terrific day. Not sure what exactly it is about seeing blog readers, but at this point I'm 3 for 3 with having a fabulous time. It probably has something to do with the fact that they've had a glimpse into my head by reading the blog so they're more comfortable than if I were more of a virtual stranger.
At any rate, yesterday afternoon was a damn good time. I was a tad bit stressed at first because I'd been running late all day and then got a little lost and ended up showing up
15 minutes 30 minutes* late at the appointed spot to meet. I felt really badly about making him wait, but he was really cool about the whole thing so I was able to relax pretty quickly.
We spent more time Naked TalkingTM than we did actually engaging in 'festivities,' but he didn't seem to mind. At one point he asked me if I am "this way" with all my clients--and I think he meant am I snuggly and chatty---and I told him that I was, for the most part. Obviously if a gentleman doesn't want that and actively seems to be discouraging it, then I'm not. I was thinking about it afterwards, this conversation, and I felt as though I should have clarified a bit. Some experiences are more 'intimate' than others and I find I have the best times when the man I am with is interested in doing some communicating with me. It's just nice. We are two people, afterall, and I find some people genuinely fascinating to talk to. I feel very lucky when I get to spend time with one of those gentlemen, and yesterday I felt very lucky.
He called me "delightful." Heh, I'm such a sucker for compliments like that.
*The aforementioned gentleman informed me of my error on the time after reading the original post. Eeek!
Unfortunately I am running out the door right now, but I have quite a bit to report later on.
Just wanted to say I'm glad Monday's post generated so much healthy debate.
See you kids later.
I received an email from a woman who is interested in getting into 'the biz.' She wonders:
Would clients be totally turned off by the idea of my wearing latex leggings while in the act? Please don't laugh (I know you are anyway and I can hear you all the way over here in NJ) -- I'm a little paranoid about herpes/warts/etc., so I'm thinking about wearing latex leggings with a very small opening in the crotch along with using a female condom. This would provide maximal coverage and hopefully minimize whatever chances of picking something up. Also, no kissing, uncovered bj's, anal, scat, etc. Do you think this will be a problem with potential clients? Please, this is a verrry serious question (yes, I can *still* hear you laughing).
Yes, I did laugh. I'm sorry, but I have to admit it.
My opinion is that while indeed some people fetishize latex, I think the average client would be rather disturbed if you felt the need to coat your body in it. While smart clients expect you to be concerned with safe sex and take the necessary precautions, I think wearing leggings made of latex would be seen as going a bit overboard.
But this is just my opinion. Maybe the men feel differently?
I wish I had more time to answer every email I get with a long detailed response, but if I did that, I would never have time to update the blog, too. I hope that no one gets offended if I choose to answer their questions here in the blog, vs. duplicating the effort by responding to the email, and then since it was a great question, addressing the same thing here. Keep the questions coming! It's nice having ready-made stuff to talk about!
Cara wanted to know if I plan to ever have a child, and if I did, would I tell this child about my stint in the world of prostitution, and would it be ok if I had a daughter and she decided to be a prostitute?
I do not have any plans to have children. I've felt this way ever since I can remember and I don't feel any 'tick tick tick' of my biological clock, either. I know I'd be perfectly capable of being a parent, but I have absolutely no desire to, whatsoever. So, whether I'd tell a hypothetical child of mine about this aspect of my life is a moot point, since there will be no progeny in my future. But as far as being ok with a hypothetical kid's career choices--I'm not a hypocrite, nor do I think there is anything wrong with what I'm doing. I'm certainly not going to do something myself and then condemn it in someone else.
Christopher had a plethora of questions, including:
1) Since you have sex for a living, do you ever masturbate on your own? If so what do you think about?
2) Have you ever been hired by another woman?
3) Any hobbies?
4) Is it difficult to orgasm with a client? I would assume you sometimes fake it. How would I know, as a client, if you actually had one?
Even before I started having sex for money, I've never been much of a masturbator. I seem to go through phases where sometimes I'll feel inclined to do it twice in a week, and then 2 months will pass and I won't have masturbated once. When I do, I think about various things, including experiences I've had and experiences I would like to have someday. (Just like everyone else in the world.)
I've never been hired by another woman.
Of course I have hobbies. I'm almost a little offended by this question, actually. I'm sure you can probably imagine why.
And it's no more difficult to orgasm with a client than it is to orgasm with anyone that isn't totally experienced in how to push my buttons. I've had lovers that have figured me out in mere minutes and I've had lovers that have never ever figured me out, even with all sorts of verbal and non-verbal communication on my part. (I had to assume then that they didn't care, and therefore were not worth my time.) I'm not at all shy about what pleases me, so if a person I'm having sex with wishes to get me off, whether it be a client or a lover, it's practically a done deal.
And you're assuming wrong about me sometimes faking it. I don't. I don't feel the need to fake it. If the gentleman cares whether or not I have an orgasm, I will most likely have a real orgasm or two. If he doesn't care, then I'm not going to put on some kind of theatrical show for no reason. How will you know if someone has faked it with you? It's hard to say. I guess there's no real way to know, since every woman is different. But here are some clues, though:
1.increase in blood pressure and pulse rate
2. breathing quickens
3. increase in vaginal lubrication
4. clitoris becomes erect and exposed
5. breasts become enlarged, nipples erect
6. skin flushes, particularly the face and chest
7. pelvic muscle spasms, causing vaginal contractions
And finally, Tom wanted to know:
Why do you blog about your experiences? What drives your "call to write"? Do you see your site as having a purpose other than acting as a pseudo-diary of your double life?
As I have indeed mentioned, I blog because I enjoy doing so. The feedback I receive is amazing to me. And as far as having a purpose besides just a diary, that's an excellent question. I feel as though there are loads of stereotypes as to the sort of people that are prostitutes. The public perception seems to be that you'd have to be supporting a drug habit or not educated or skilled at anything else in order to engage in prostitution. That's simply not true. Perhaps by posting I can raise some people's awareness that it certainly doesn't have to be an unpleasant degrading experience and can indeed be a fun and interesting way to earn money. I've got loads more to say on this particular issue, but I'll save it for another post.
Cheers to lazy Sundays.
Yesterday, with help from a fun new client, I made an interesting discovery about myself.
Evidently, with the right kind of g-spot stimulation, I can squirt. Although I think squirting is a bit of an exaggeration, since in this case it was more like a fine spray and not in any copious quantity, either. But it happened twice and as far as I know, has never happened before. Or if it has, it hasn't been mentioned to me. He pointed it out to me afterwards and until I saw the evidence on the comforter, I didn't believe it. I guess old dogs ARE capable of new tricks.
I certainly had a good time, and I think he did too.